CHOOSING A MATE
There is not ONE person out there that is THE one, and that if you should somehow miss THE one you're done for.  God doesn't somehow pick out somebody for you and boy you better not screw it up.  Love, remember, is a choice.  You choose to love.  You also choose the person you marry.  There are many people out there that you could make a successful marriage with but you would have to work hard to make it successful with any one of them.

DEFINITION OF LOVE
By definition, love is "choosing the highest good for the other person."  That is the basis for all relationships, especially marriage.  Does this person demonstrate genuine, consistent love?  Do they choose the best for you or do they only do what will make you feel good?

DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE
A man named Dr Norm Wright say; "Marriage is the total commitment of the total person for total life."  I couldn't agree more.  It assumes love is the bases, but commitment is the essential ingredient.  Without a total commitment, love can not develop; relationships stay shallow and untrusting.  You can't give yourself deeply to someone who is holding back part of themselves.
So you have to ask the following questions about the person you are with.

• Do they have the ability to commit to anything long term?

• Have they been committed to you for a year to two years?

• Have they been faithful during that time?

• What have they're past relationships been like?

• Do they hold back parts of their life or is it the total person you are seeing?

IS LOVE ENOUGH?
So many people think, "As long as we love each other that's all we need."  Think about that.  Love is choosing the highest good for the other person, but that means you could marry your parents if "love is all it takes."  Here is a very short list of things necessary to make a marriage relationship last.

• Humor
  Are they fun to be around?  Is there a smile on their    face?

• Honesty
  Do they tell the truth?  Do they hide who they are?

• The ability to admit wrong
  When was the last time they admitted they were wrong?

• The ability to forgive
  Can they leave the past behind once it's been dealt with?

• The ability to change
  Are they stubborn? Have they ever conquered a bad habit?

• Sexual attraction and feelings
  Are you physically attracted to them?  Are they attracted to you?

• Common beliefs
  What do you both believe about God, family, politics, money?

• Common goals and direction for life
  What is success to them?  What drives them on in life?  How committed are they to what is valuable?

• Common interests
  How important is the family, sports, hobbies, your house?

• Patience
  Can they save money, do they have to have what ever they want RIGHT NOW?  Can they wait?  How do they react when someone does something wrong?

• Kind
  Are they gentle to people different than themselves, people of all ages, beliefs, races?

• Faithful
  Have you ever suspected them of cheating you?  Do you worry when separated from them?  Do you feel secure in their love?

• Teachable
  Can they learn from someone "lower" than themselves?  Do they crave to learn new things no matter where they come from?  Do they desire to grow?

• Thoughtful
  Do they remember important events and dates?  Do they do little things for you "just cause?"